


Abide

by cloudsitter



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU where both Steve AND Bucky get to come home from the war, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Fix-It, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 10:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18602551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudsitter/pseuds/cloudsitter
Summary: “I’ll miss you, buddy."So Bucky knew, then, what Steve was thinking of doing. Or at least suspected. There was no judgment in his eyes, but Steve ached with self-recrimination. He did not know how to live without a war, at least not in this age of advanced spyware and grey morality. But perhaps that was something he could learn.AKA my effort at patching up the plot holes in Avengers: Endgame that had upsetting implications for both Steve and our favourite metal-armed assassin.





	Abide

“I’ll miss you, buddy." 

So Bucky knew, then, what Steve was thinking of doing. Or at least suspected. There was no judgment in his eyes, but Steve ached with self-recrimination. He did not know how to live without a war, at least not in this age of advanced spyware and grey morality. But perhaps that was something he could learn. 

When he zipped back into the time portal at the allotted five seconds after the farewell, Sam strode forward and slapped him on the back. 

“Did you do it? Any trouble?” Sam asked. 

“All the stones are back where they should be, and when,” Steve replied, muscles loosening. 

Steve looked past Sam to Bucky, who was staring at him, brow wrinkled. Steve looked back at Sam. 

“There is something I need to ask you, though,” Steve said to Sam, walking over to Banner and retrieving the circular case he had stashed among the quantum equipment. 

Sam’s eyes widened when Steve uncovered the shield. Shuri had repaired it for him soon after the battle, seamlessly melding the vibranium pieces together until it looked as it used to. 

Sam accepted Steve’s offer to take up the mantle of Captain America, eyes watering, and then stepped back and gestured towards Bucky. 

“I don’t know what’s going on with you two but I think you should talk. I’ll see you back at Star-Pepper’s house,” Sam amended, face creasing. 

“Banner, with me! We can clear up the equipment after lunch, don’t try and tell me you’re not hungry.” 

* * *

Bucky was still staring at Steve as the others walked away, and Steve approached him slowly, trying to decipher his expression. 

“Buck? You okay?”

Bucky blinked at him, opening his mouth and then closing it again. Steve waited him out. 

“I just...I thought you might stay there. In the past. I know Peggy kept her husband classified, maybe you could have lived with her without disrupting the time continuum. Been happy.” 

Steve wracked his brain for how to respond. 

“I thought about it, I won’t lie to you, but then I thought of what that might  _ mean _ . I could be with Peggy, but that would mean lingering in the past, knowing Hydra was out there infesting SHIELD and hurting you, and not being able to do anything in case I disrupted the timeline enough to let the snap happen again." 

"You said I could be happy," Steve continued, "but how could I ever live with myself in a world where I know what is happening to you, and choose to do nothing about it? Peggy isn’t the only person I love.”

Bucky sucked in a breath. 

“Steve," he said, “you don’t gotta sacrifice your happiness for mine. What happened, happened, and I’m here now.” 

Steve reached out and took Bucky’s flesh hand.

“I don’t think you understand, Buck," Steve said. “I tried living in a world without you in it, after SHIELD found me. I don’t want to do that again. Not if I don’t have to.” 

Bucky’s eyes were wet. 

“Steve, you little shit,” Bucky said, reaching out and holding Steve close. “You made me cry, you menace.” Bucky stepped back, wiping his eyes. 

“Okay, alright," Bucky said, composing himself, "I know when I’m not gonna win a fight with Steve Rogers. What did’ya have in mind, then, seeing as Sam’s taking over vibranium frisbee duty?”

Steve shrugged, smirking slightly. “I don’t know, but I heard about this real swell guy who's been living among goats and grasses in rural Wakanda. Think he’d appreciate some human company?”

“A real swell guy, huh?” Bucky teased, punching him on the shoulder. “And don’t mock the goats, they could totally kick your ass.” 

“My best guy,” Steve confirmed, searching Bucky’s eyes with his own. Bucky smiled, disbelieving, and glanced at Steve’s lips before quickly averting his eyes, turning over Steve's offer, Steve's _promise_ , in his mind.  


“Just your luck then," Bucky said. "I’ve heard that guy has no problem adding stubborn punks to his household. You’ll fit right in with the goats.”

“Just my luck," Steve agreed, and kissed him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Some plot holes I sought to address in this little fic (avoid if wary of spoilers but I mean what are you doing reading this fic, look at the fandom tags)
> 
> \- Steve living out his life in the past vs. the potential to mess up the time continuum and create a totally different series of events 
> 
> \- Steve's shield being damaged so terribly in the fight and old man!Steve suddenly having a pristine copy of it to give to Sam 
> 
> \- Steve choosing to risk effing up the time continuum by staying with Peggy, but NOT by interfering with the Hydra/SHIELD/Bucky related BS that was going down 
> 
> \- My personal HC is that Steve returned the stones, visited 40s era Peggy in private, they had their dance and said all the things they didn't have time to say to each other in TFA, then they parted, Peggy knowing that she had to let him go because ~space/time~ dangers and keeping their brief reunion secret, knowing from Steve that she would see him again when she was old but should live as full of a life as possible in the meantime 
> 
>  
> 
> The title is a reference to the poem "Abide" by Jake Adam York: 
> 
> Forgive me if I forget  
> with the birdsong and the day’s  
> last glow folding into the hands  
> of the trees, forgive me the few  
> syllables of the autumn crickets,  
> the year’s last firefly winking  
> like a penny in the shoulder’s weeds,  
> if I forget the hour, if I forget  
> the day as the evening star  
> pours out its whiskey over the gravel  
> and asphalt I’ve walked  
> for years alone, if I startle  
> when you put your hand in mine,  
> if I wonder how long your light  
> has taken to reach me here.


End file.
